What Drifting In My Soul...

...was so so unbelievable day! crazy...so many things in my plates!!!
didn't feel that today is what so called Vday! well apart from there's these flowers in my desk, every sec felt like another day.

this morning I actually remembered one of my period of time when I had relationship with this guy... years ago... after we broke up and experience another relationship with other people, I realised how sincere he was... not demanding, it was just...so pure u know... everything felt so right, calm, secure, peaceful, comfortable and settle... I was quit because some principal things, most of it because I was too ambitious and demanding.

I learn from him a lot... a lot!
and i know it's totally uneasy to love someone sincerely ... so hard and it's hurt at the same time and require a lot of effort.
When the time I was trying to do like what he did to me in a way of loving someone... it was a brutal fighting... when you give your self to the people you love with all your heart but you end up being betrayed with the one you love... it was a chaos feeling... so bloody hurt and unbearable...

when people take this Vday to express their love... well I would like to take this chance to say thank you so much for him who taught me how to love sincerely... gave me comfort in my colourful life and calm me down when my emotional peaked up...
it was on 1999 when I met him almost decade ago...
"you give me something"...

no, I don't wanna go down to that road again, don't get me wrong... life it's about moving forward, rite?

in the end of the day all we needed is someone who could calm us down, give us security and peace with its simplicity instead of roller coaster ride, thousands of roses, expensive holiday, gentle sweet words, thousand promises.........

....sigh