Thursday, 31 January 2008
last bite...
I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know
I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be
One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok
One may think
we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground
with every passing day
We’re not ok
But that’s one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you
--pills, the perisher
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know
I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be
One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok
One may think
we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground
with every passing day
We’re not ok
But that’s one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you
--pills, the perisher
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
crazy crazy...
have you ever felt so so irritated by someone or something ???
oohh seriously it's been happening to me for this last one and a half year. bloody hell, i don't even know how to cope with it anymore... being nice is just so wrong. cos no matter how nice you are but if people are keep bothering you and stabbing you from your back, ohhh there'll be a time when you feel you need to stand up and shout " ennnnnooooooooouggggghhhhh!!!!" seriously!
and i have had enough with this crazy woman!
u such a pathetic, contemptible, hopeless, despicable, disrespectful woman... stop twisting words and facts u moron!
and accept the fact that u r not more than a loser, back stabber and a very very well words twister and story teller!
am so sorry for this man who is going to marry her... am so sorry for you man!
oooohhhh you'll see, what's goes around comes around... it will come back to you, i promise you
and... i will never forgive you!
forget about the angelic nina or respectful me or else....
[so sorry for all these craps... am feeling so bloody frustrated with this bloody woman...]
sinting!
oohh seriously it's been happening to me for this last one and a half year. bloody hell, i don't even know how to cope with it anymore... being nice is just so wrong. cos no matter how nice you are but if people are keep bothering you and stabbing you from your back, ohhh there'll be a time when you feel you need to stand up and shout " ennnnnooooooooouggggghhhhh!!!!" seriously!
and i have had enough with this crazy woman!
u such a pathetic, contemptible, hopeless, despicable, disrespectful woman... stop twisting words and facts u moron!
and accept the fact that u r not more than a loser, back stabber and a very very well words twister and story teller!
am so sorry for this man who is going to marry her... am so sorry for you man!
oooohhhh you'll see, what's goes around comes around... it will come back to you, i promise you
and... i will never forgive you!
forget about the angelic nina or respectful me or else....
[so sorry for all these craps... am feeling so bloody frustrated with this bloody woman...]
sinting!
Friday, 25 January 2008
my new playground
after a long of ignorance, i finally manage to "fix" my multiply hehehe... so please do pop in [http://lifeparade.multiply.com/] think am goin to post my blurb there more often rather than in this site... i put some of my dining reviews too, fun indeed... and my fav songs, photos, etc.
oya, have a nice weekend !
oya, have a nice weekend !
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
surrender
we may say that we cannot predict the future. this life is somehow unpredictable, one day we laugh so much the next day we cry like hell and the other day we experience the uncertain mood which is indeed annoying.
yet, there are some exact things that every human being will experience, like our circle of life. like being born and death eventually... we grow up and old, testify the new baby born and experience the lost as well... something that we don't like yet we cannot avoid it. something called it's written.
the question is how good we manage ourselves to cope with our circle of life ?
we are familiar with the word "ikhlash" or i guess in English it's called surrender or sincere.. my parents always say to go through this life with sincerity or being ikhlash for whatever we get, whatever we have to go through and whatever we have to release.. whether we like it or not. the things is we don't posses goods we thought we do.. all are from our Khaliq. it's only an entrusted.
if He think we are being "amanah" enough or trustful He'll give His "ridho" to us, and if it's not He'll taking it back.. and most of the time we are angry, mad, disappoint, frustrated.. the bottom line is we are not ikhlash and surrender ourselves unto Him.
greedy it is.
why am i so negative lately it's merely because i'm not ikhlash on walking on my life... i can't accept many issues that have been hovering around my life, i somehow confronted instead 'coz i have always thought that i deserve better and it's not supposed to be happened and series of other yada yada yada...
i've just lost my precious good yesterday, ironically this good has both intrinsic and extrinsic values. am screwed indeed... i felt so mad of course yet at the same time i found a lil voice that keep whispering my head and heart up until now that i have to be ikhlash and let it go.. maybe this good was not good for me.. maybe without i realised it i have became conceited.. maybe...
i thankful for this "warning" to be honest. maybe this is one of the ways to wake me up from this hedonism. that life isn't about haha hehe... that i really have to turn my life direction immediately, heading to the pathway that will take me to get closer to Him.
when people say there will always a reason behind any incident.
and i do believe so.
Hasbunallah wanikmal wakil... Nikmal maulana waanikman nashir..
yet, there are some exact things that every human being will experience, like our circle of life. like being born and death eventually... we grow up and old, testify the new baby born and experience the lost as well... something that we don't like yet we cannot avoid it. something called it's written.
the question is how good we manage ourselves to cope with our circle of life ?
we are familiar with the word "ikhlash" or i guess in English it's called surrender or sincere.. my parents always say to go through this life with sincerity or being ikhlash for whatever we get, whatever we have to go through and whatever we have to release.. whether we like it or not. the things is we don't posses goods we thought we do.. all are from our Khaliq. it's only an entrusted.
if He think we are being "amanah" enough or trustful He'll give His "ridho" to us, and if it's not He'll taking it back.. and most of the time we are angry, mad, disappoint, frustrated.. the bottom line is we are not ikhlash and surrender ourselves unto Him.
greedy it is.
why am i so negative lately it's merely because i'm not ikhlash on walking on my life... i can't accept many issues that have been hovering around my life, i somehow confronted instead 'coz i have always thought that i deserve better and it's not supposed to be happened and series of other yada yada yada...
i've just lost my precious good yesterday, ironically this good has both intrinsic and extrinsic values. am screwed indeed... i felt so mad of course yet at the same time i found a lil voice that keep whispering my head and heart up until now that i have to be ikhlash and let it go.. maybe this good was not good for me.. maybe without i realised it i have became conceited.. maybe...
i thankful for this "warning" to be honest. maybe this is one of the ways to wake me up from this hedonism. that life isn't about haha hehe... that i really have to turn my life direction immediately, heading to the pathway that will take me to get closer to Him.
when people say there will always a reason behind any incident.
and i do believe so.
Hasbunallah wanikmal wakil... Nikmal maulana waanikman nashir..
Thursday, 17 January 2008
memaafkan...
Bapak saya adalah seorang pemaaf. Disakiti dan dikhianati sedalam apa pun dia tidak menaruh dendam. Kesal mungkin selama beberapa saat, tidak lama, setelah itu hatinya memilih membebaskan racun kebencian. Memaafkan. Bahkan ketika saya anaknya belum mampu memaafkan orang-orang yang menyakiti bapak saya, ia telah berjabat tangan dan berbincang hangat dengan orang-orang munafik itu.
Saya baru mengerti bahwa memafkan itu sulit akhir-akhir ini. Ketika saya menyadari bahwa saya mempunyai sisi "gelap", ketika saya menemukan bahwa amarah itu mengerikan, membutakan dan menyakitkan.
Bapak saya mudah percaya dengan orang, karenanya ia banyak dimanfaatkan oleh orang. Dan tetap memaafkannya. Saya susah mempercayai orang dan sangat pemilih dalam bersahabat. Karenanya ketika saya dikecewakan oleh orang yang sudah saya percaya, sakit saya tak terperi. Marah yang bergulung-gulung.
Dan saya sedang mengalaminya.
Dan saya tak bisa memaafkan, meski tahun telah berlalu... rasa marah, kecewa, sakit hati masih terus berada di tempat yang sama. Tidak bergeming.
Melelahkan.
Sedihnya, ketika orang yang membuat saya kecewa sakit hati telah berjalan pergi dan "melupakan" apa yang telah ia perbuat dan berharap "waktu akan menyembuhkan luka" dan... itu salah.
Memaafkan itu bagi saya ternyata tidak mudah.
Jujur, saya terkejut dengan kenyataan bahwa saya bukan orang yang pemaaf.
Ini pertama kali dalam hidup saya, saya begitu kecewa dan sakit hati dengan orang dan.. belum bisa melupakan dan memaafkan.
Melelahkan.
Saya rasa saya akan menjadi orang yang menang ketika saya mampu membebaskan luka ini dan berdamai dengan diri saya, dengan luka yang tertancap dan menjadi bijaksana seperti bapak saya.
Bapak yang seorang pemaaf.
Saya belum memaafkan... dan tidak pernah lupa.
Saya baru mengerti bahwa memafkan itu sulit akhir-akhir ini. Ketika saya menyadari bahwa saya mempunyai sisi "gelap", ketika saya menemukan bahwa amarah itu mengerikan, membutakan dan menyakitkan.
Bapak saya mudah percaya dengan orang, karenanya ia banyak dimanfaatkan oleh orang. Dan tetap memaafkannya. Saya susah mempercayai orang dan sangat pemilih dalam bersahabat. Karenanya ketika saya dikecewakan oleh orang yang sudah saya percaya, sakit saya tak terperi. Marah yang bergulung-gulung.
Dan saya sedang mengalaminya.
Dan saya tak bisa memaafkan, meski tahun telah berlalu... rasa marah, kecewa, sakit hati masih terus berada di tempat yang sama. Tidak bergeming.
Melelahkan.
Sedihnya, ketika orang yang membuat saya kecewa sakit hati telah berjalan pergi dan "melupakan" apa yang telah ia perbuat dan berharap "waktu akan menyembuhkan luka" dan... itu salah.
Memaafkan itu bagi saya ternyata tidak mudah.
Jujur, saya terkejut dengan kenyataan bahwa saya bukan orang yang pemaaf.
Ini pertama kali dalam hidup saya, saya begitu kecewa dan sakit hati dengan orang dan.. belum bisa melupakan dan memaafkan.
Melelahkan.
Saya rasa saya akan menjadi orang yang menang ketika saya mampu membebaskan luka ini dan berdamai dengan diri saya, dengan luka yang tertancap dan menjadi bijaksana seperti bapak saya.
Bapak yang seorang pemaaf.
Saya belum memaafkan... dan tidak pernah lupa.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Happy New Hijri Year 1429
I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Hijri Year 1429. Today is the first day of Muharram, the first month of the Islamic calendar.
May it be a blessed, happy and joyful new year for you all bringing you prosperity, success and great health. Ameen!
Although Indonesia is a country with the most populated moslem in the world, yet since I was born I haven't seen that Islamic New Year is celebrated the way the common New Year is. I wonder why ?
Shame on... us!
Anyway, am not a pious definitely BUT of course i have always wanted to be a better moslem and that gonna be my goal or resolution or whatever...
All the best everyone !
May it be a blessed, happy and joyful new year for you all bringing you prosperity, success and great health. Ameen!
Although Indonesia is a country with the most populated moslem in the world, yet since I was born I haven't seen that Islamic New Year is celebrated the way the common New Year is. I wonder why ?
Shame on... us!
Anyway, am not a pious definitely BUT of course i have always wanted to be a better moslem and that gonna be my goal or resolution or whatever...
All the best everyone !
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Walk Away Anthem
Throughout this life sometimes we have to make a dreadful decision, the toughest one...
sometimes it is dealing with our "love life"
I myself believe that we can't choose our partner in life --husband or wife. I do believe that it is written, hence no matter we love and in love with a person sometimes we have to walk away. sometimes.
Other thing what I've experienced, love doesn't come often... sometimes we thought it is love but the fact it's mere a crush. Love comes for those who believe in tolerance, share, commitment, loyalty, forgiving and respect. Indeed it's not cheap.
I'm lucky I've found the one I love and love me in return, whether he's going to be my husband in the end... it's in His power, we do our best =) and... yup it's not cheap and easy.
To be honest, we've been struggling to hold onto what we have and let it blooms. Some people come and go in our circle to distract and destroy what we have, don't ask me why... I don't have a clue either.
Now, when I look back I can say with a smile : "those were some good lessons for us to grow stronger" instead of damaging our circle.
So, this song is dedicated to them who once ever tried to break up our circle =) Thank you for giving us colours!
Apologize for those who once felt that me or him was in the same path or direction. We weren't.
Perhaps, this is a good start for me and also my bf, to leave all the things behind --suspicion, jealousy,etc... new year with a new blank page... =)
Well, I don't know how they really feel yet this may one of their anthem... =p
btw, this song titled Walk Away by Ben Harper, very nice tune if anyone want to download.
"Oh no- here comes that sun again.
And (that) means another day without you my friend.
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.
We've tried the goodbye so many days.
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.
They say time will make all this go away,
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down
And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door."
sometimes it is dealing with our "love life"
I myself believe that we can't choose our partner in life --husband or wife. I do believe that it is written, hence no matter we love and in love with a person sometimes we have to walk away. sometimes.
Other thing what I've experienced, love doesn't come often... sometimes we thought it is love but the fact it's mere a crush. Love comes for those who believe in tolerance, share, commitment, loyalty, forgiving and respect. Indeed it's not cheap.
I'm lucky I've found the one I love and love me in return, whether he's going to be my husband in the end... it's in His power, we do our best =) and... yup it's not cheap and easy.
To be honest, we've been struggling to hold onto what we have and let it blooms. Some people come and go in our circle to distract and destroy what we have, don't ask me why... I don't have a clue either.
Now, when I look back I can say with a smile : "those were some good lessons for us to grow stronger" instead of damaging our circle.
So, this song is dedicated to them who once ever tried to break up our circle =) Thank you for giving us colours!
Apologize for those who once felt that me or him was in the same path or direction. We weren't.
Perhaps, this is a good start for me and also my bf, to leave all the things behind --suspicion, jealousy,etc... new year with a new blank page... =)
Well, I don't know how they really feel yet this may one of their anthem... =p
btw, this song titled Walk Away by Ben Harper, very nice tune if anyone want to download.
"Oh no- here comes that sun again.
And (that) means another day without you my friend.
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.
We've tried the goodbye so many days.
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.
They say time will make all this go away,
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down
And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door."
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
...another 500 miles
2008 is coming and yeah I would walk another 500 miles... and more as this journey continues on...
what is it like ? hmm... that's the art of it, we never know mate... and thus we are growing beautifully as our soul blooming through its pain and joy.
2007 indeed has taught me many precious lessons from family, work, love and life itself. Am not proud of myself nor things that I've done throughout 2007, i didn't do much to be honest, I was somehow stuck in a certain point. Bad Nina! However, as it is things always happen for reasons, rite ?
One of some things in 2007 that I should be grateful is, I make a very good friends in my working place. Think, that the highlight of my 2007... we all know that friend is hard to find... they maybe there but many of them are not really "there" if you know what i mean... and these people just gorgeous, love them... love you dears!
what is it like ? hmm... that's the art of it, we never know mate... and thus we are growing beautifully as our soul blooming through its pain and joy.
2007 indeed has taught me many precious lessons from family, work, love and life itself. Am not proud of myself nor things that I've done throughout 2007, i didn't do much to be honest, I was somehow stuck in a certain point. Bad Nina! However, as it is things always happen for reasons, rite ?
One of some things in 2007 that I should be grateful is, I make a very good friends in my working place. Think, that the highlight of my 2007... we all know that friend is hard to find... they maybe there but many of them are not really "there" if you know what i mean... and these people just gorgeous, love them... love you dears!
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