Life Is Short, Do The Math!

Gosh.. there's so so many things running through my mind at the present time... wooosssaaaa... but the red line is LIFE IS SHORT!
yup it is.

on my ideal state-of-mind without no doubt i really really want to make it counts... yet, considering my "vulnerable" and broken soul at this moment that have to pay respect [to] i'm not sure which passage should i take..
look, i don't want to reach my 30 with nothing i can proud of... i might shoot my own head by then, knowing my life is just a waste... touch the ground hope that won't happen, well i'll make sure it won't happen.

i'm not certain whether any of you recognize josiah lemin.. was on the American Idol this season, he didn't make to the big 24 though but he is very talented in his 18! seriously... do check on you tube, he even wrote his own songs. Anyway, what i'm trying to say here is... I saw Josiah and how he struggle on pursuing his goals and again he is only 18!!! it's fascinating u know...

aside that i really want to be a great writer instead of typist [well this is how my editor taught me about... the difference between writer and typist.. and i'm pretty sure that i'm still a typist not yet a writer hahaha pathetic] i really want to get married!! yes.. pretty much shocking hehehe... but i do... again life is short i don't want to end up alone in this world and being that selfish bitch if you know what i mean..

there's this man who once asked me to be his wife... he is "somebody" if u know what i mean... have a good career, faultless family background, good-looking, charismatic... and yet at the same time high-hat and haughty. Taken into consideration of all his quality, he is a perfect husband-to-be.. right, right ? BUT what keeps bothering me is the fact that he is approaching his 40 this year! hahahaha exactly!!

please don't get me wrong, but for me the essence of marriage is the togetherness part... to share...to make things more easier... and me myself, I want it lasts as long as possible... though i totally understand that it's all in Allah's hand, but i must use my logic and do the math right ? hehehehe again LIFE IS SHORT!

ooh i don't know it just too many things are going on in my head right now..
and i'm so bloody lonesome in this saturday night! no wonder my mind is running here and there!
i really want to go out and play... sooo badly!
i used to be very outgoing person and love to socialise and mingle a lot, then i once reached into a certain point that i don't feel comfortable to go out with men unless he is my bf... i know sounds so naive but hey... couldn't blame that either i'm learning to be loyal u know... and became anti-social in return hahahahaha... and up until now!

I miss my old time when i was in high school... i didn't have a problem of what so called "feeling lonely" every single day i went out with different people and i felt great... so fun! and now... look at me i'm trapped in my room most of the time accompanied by my so loyal macbook! what a life!

many people thought that i'm an outgoing type of person and love to pal around and kind a party animal hahahaha.. so wrong! well i used to.... and miss that day a lot!
think this is a time that i have to go out and play again... "there are many fishes out there," my friends said. yeah... too many fishes i believe, in fact it's freaking me out...
but.. hey Life Is Short.. have to start somewhere to catch the light rite ?