Like I said, life is like fashion... it is ephemeral. It keeps changing in a way, sometimes it gets better and ace but most of the times we experience a slope downgrade in term of its quality as a mankind. Some people may realise it and some may not or even don't care about what so called "improvement".
I just got a kick that as a mankind I'm getting worse and worse. I lost my idealism, my sensitivity, .., and maybe else--I can't even recall it, so shameful. I used to think a lot about this life, how it is supposed to be and how to make it better and yet what I'm doing now is complaining this complaining that. Nothing really to be proud of.
My friend knocked me with my old writings dates back two or three years, it contains my pure thought of this life, something effortless and unpretentious... something that I miss a lot lately. My world now is revolving around my job in which I thought great but to be honest it's not. Look at me... my attitude has reach such a degree that I can't tolerate more. I don't get better in anything. Even when I thought I write better yet I don't think I am.
I lost a kind of "spirit" that makes me... ME... a person who has a zillion idealism and dreams. A woman who believes that life isn't supposed to be difficult in a sense of equality and humanity. Maybe I priorly lived in capsulate world where there are hopes swinging on the grey sky... and maybe I'm now grounded in this "real" world, a scope where people hide behind their own masks and prefer being an asshole yet survive than being a "human being" and trapped in a self-conflict and despair.
I used to fight for some goods, not merely for my own self but for people around me... and thus my life was a lot more at eased. [sigh]
I think on the top of that, I lost my heart... a single matter that define me as a mankind.
I'm sorry... I can't even say enough to my own self...
I hope my hope will soon emerge...
'cos life is ephemeral
it is.
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Friday, 22 February 2008
I Believe In Me
a good friend of mine said that I'm worrying too many unnecessary things or "printhilan-printhilan" nggak penting in my life... which I admitted it's true... the outcome is I'm stuck and going nowhere. I'm thinking too much and calculating every single step that I'm going to take, and if I'm in doubt then I rather stay and do nothing...waiting. While other people who thinking less and prefer to take the risks are in a place which is way further than where I'm standing...
am now in the stage where i have to make decision in my life, whether to turn left or go straight... if u know what i mean.. and for sure I don't want to make a mistake because it will affected my future life, and hence, I really need to be more careful and thoughtful. ... and again as my friend said I'm thinking too much bout something that i should not worried about... and for once in my life I have to take the risk and believe in my heart that every problem that is awaiting me outside is smaller than the capability I have within to overcome it, to conquer it... I just need to believe in my self.
think she is right... and very right, in fact.
so, here I am... fighting for my belief...
just please be with me...
am now in the stage where i have to make decision in my life, whether to turn left or go straight... if u know what i mean.. and for sure I don't want to make a mistake because it will affected my future life, and hence, I really need to be more careful and thoughtful. ... and again as my friend said I'm thinking too much bout something that i should not worried about... and for once in my life I have to take the risk and believe in my heart that every problem that is awaiting me outside is smaller than the capability I have within to overcome it, to conquer it... I just need to believe in my self.
think she is right... and very right, in fact.
so, here I am... fighting for my belief...
just please be with me...
Saturday, 16 February 2008
Love Is Overrated!
am questioning a lot about love lately.. can't help it sorry... what is it love actually? do you really think if a man and a woman decided to get married is always based on love ?? I REALLY DON'T THINK SO...
when i was falling in love about two years ago, i said to my brother... that "i'm in love..." and u know what he said? "telling the truth i don't know what love is nina, i thought i knew but i don't..." and he is married...
love is overrated!
I watched this Taiwan TV series just now:
there's a woman named Kelly who is going to get married with someone that she doesn't even love in a near time... her family arrange her marriage. the stupid part is she is in love with somebody else and still expecting this man named Marco-- who is happened to be someone else bf. Kelly even said to Marco that she is willing to break her engagement if Marco wanted to be with her... and it happened only a month before her wedding... so sick! meanwhile Marco is pretty much brainless too, he admits that he is in love and want to get married with his gf, yet he is also flirt with Kelly for more than a year, no wonder if Kelly is falling for him... it's getting chaotic when this Marco' gf found out what they've been doing behind her back... so... Kelly who is going to get married with the one she doesn't love is still expecting this Marco. meanwhile, Marco is now trying hard to ensure his gf--who eventually left him after a long run of betrayal-- that she's the one and always been the one... D'OH! it's so unfair for this man who is going to get married with this Kelly bitch and Marco's gf... don't u think?
can u all see the point ? which character do you think has the right concept of "love?"
people love the idea of "love" and fear enough of being lonely.. [like me at this moment..]
love is overrated!
when i was falling in love about two years ago, i said to my brother... that "i'm in love..." and u know what he said? "telling the truth i don't know what love is nina, i thought i knew but i don't..." and he is married...
love is overrated!
I watched this Taiwan TV series just now:
there's a woman named Kelly who is going to get married with someone that she doesn't even love in a near time... her family arrange her marriage. the stupid part is she is in love with somebody else and still expecting this man named Marco-- who is happened to be someone else bf. Kelly even said to Marco that she is willing to break her engagement if Marco wanted to be with her... and it happened only a month before her wedding... so sick! meanwhile Marco is pretty much brainless too, he admits that he is in love and want to get married with his gf, yet he is also flirt with Kelly for more than a year, no wonder if Kelly is falling for him... it's getting chaotic when this Marco' gf found out what they've been doing behind her back... so... Kelly who is going to get married with the one she doesn't love is still expecting this Marco. meanwhile, Marco is now trying hard to ensure his gf--who eventually left him after a long run of betrayal-- that she's the one and always been the one... D'OH! it's so unfair for this man who is going to get married with this Kelly bitch and Marco's gf... don't u think?
can u all see the point ? which character do you think has the right concept of "love?"
people love the idea of "love" and fear enough of being lonely.. [like me at this moment..]
love is overrated!
Life Is Short, Do The Math!
Gosh.. there's so so many things running through my mind at the present time... wooosssaaaa... but the red line is LIFE IS SHORT!
yup it is.
on my ideal state-of-mind without no doubt i really really want to make it counts... yet, considering my "vulnerable" and broken soul at this moment that have to pay respect [to] i'm not sure which passage should i take..
look, i don't want to reach my 30 with nothing i can proud of... i might shoot my own head by then, knowing my life is just a waste... touch the ground hope that won't happen, well i'll make sure it won't happen.
i'm not certain whether any of you recognize josiah lemin.. was on the American Idol this season, he didn't make to the big 24 though but he is very talented in his 18! seriously... do check on you tube, he even wrote his own songs. Anyway, what i'm trying to say here is... I saw Josiah and how he struggle on pursuing his goals and again he is only 18!!! it's fascinating u know...
aside that i really want to be a great writer instead of typist [well this is how my editor taught me about... the difference between writer and typist.. and i'm pretty sure that i'm still a typist not yet a writer hahaha pathetic] i really want to get married!! yes.. pretty much shocking hehehe... but i do... again life is short i don't want to end up alone in this world and being that selfish bitch if you know what i mean..
there's this man who once asked me to be his wife... he is "somebody" if u know what i mean... have a good career, faultless family background, good-looking, charismatic... and yet at the same time high-hat and haughty. Taken into consideration of all his quality, he is a perfect husband-to-be.. right, right ? BUT what keeps bothering me is the fact that he is approaching his 40 this year! hahahaha exactly!!
please don't get me wrong, but for me the essence of marriage is the togetherness part... to share...to make things more easier... and me myself, I want it lasts as long as possible... though i totally understand that it's all in Allah's hand, but i must use my logic and do the math right ? hehehehe again LIFE IS SHORT!
ooh i don't know it just too many things are going on in my head right now..
and i'm so bloody lonesome in this saturday night! no wonder my mind is running here and there!
i really want to go out and play... sooo badly!
i used to be very outgoing person and love to socialise and mingle a lot, then i once reached into a certain point that i don't feel comfortable to go out with men unless he is my bf... i know sounds so naive but hey... couldn't blame that either i'm learning to be loyal u know... and became anti-social in return hahahahaha... and up until now!
I miss my old time when i was in high school... i didn't have a problem of what so called "feeling lonely" every single day i went out with different people and i felt great... so fun! and now... look at me i'm trapped in my room most of the time accompanied by my so loyal macbook! what a life!
many people thought that i'm an outgoing type of person and love to pal around and kind a party animal hahahaha.. so wrong! well i used to.... and miss that day a lot!
think this is a time that i have to go out and play again... "there are many fishes out there," my friends said. yeah... too many fishes i believe, in fact it's freaking me out...
but.. hey Life Is Short.. have to start somewhere to catch the light rite ?
yup it is.
on my ideal state-of-mind without no doubt i really really want to make it counts... yet, considering my "vulnerable" and broken soul at this moment that have to pay respect [to] i'm not sure which passage should i take..
look, i don't want to reach my 30 with nothing i can proud of... i might shoot my own head by then, knowing my life is just a waste... touch the ground hope that won't happen, well i'll make sure it won't happen.
i'm not certain whether any of you recognize josiah lemin.. was on the American Idol this season, he didn't make to the big 24 though but he is very talented in his 18! seriously... do check on you tube, he even wrote his own songs. Anyway, what i'm trying to say here is... I saw Josiah and how he struggle on pursuing his goals and again he is only 18!!! it's fascinating u know...
aside that i really want to be a great writer instead of typist [well this is how my editor taught me about... the difference between writer and typist.. and i'm pretty sure that i'm still a typist not yet a writer hahaha pathetic] i really want to get married!! yes.. pretty much shocking hehehe... but i do... again life is short i don't want to end up alone in this world and being that selfish bitch if you know what i mean..
there's this man who once asked me to be his wife... he is "somebody" if u know what i mean... have a good career, faultless family background, good-looking, charismatic... and yet at the same time high-hat and haughty. Taken into consideration of all his quality, he is a perfect husband-to-be.. right, right ? BUT what keeps bothering me is the fact that he is approaching his 40 this year! hahahaha exactly!!
please don't get me wrong, but for me the essence of marriage is the togetherness part... to share...to make things more easier... and me myself, I want it lasts as long as possible... though i totally understand that it's all in Allah's hand, but i must use my logic and do the math right ? hehehehe again LIFE IS SHORT!
ooh i don't know it just too many things are going on in my head right now..
and i'm so bloody lonesome in this saturday night! no wonder my mind is running here and there!
i really want to go out and play... sooo badly!
i used to be very outgoing person and love to socialise and mingle a lot, then i once reached into a certain point that i don't feel comfortable to go out with men unless he is my bf... i know sounds so naive but hey... couldn't blame that either i'm learning to be loyal u know... and became anti-social in return hahahahaha... and up until now!
I miss my old time when i was in high school... i didn't have a problem of what so called "feeling lonely" every single day i went out with different people and i felt great... so fun! and now... look at me i'm trapped in my room most of the time accompanied by my so loyal macbook! what a life!
many people thought that i'm an outgoing type of person and love to pal around and kind a party animal hahahaha.. so wrong! well i used to.... and miss that day a lot!
think this is a time that i have to go out and play again... "there are many fishes out there," my friends said. yeah... too many fishes i believe, in fact it's freaking me out...
but.. hey Life Is Short.. have to start somewhere to catch the light rite ?
Friday, 15 February 2008
The Best Man
My friend at this office told me this morning while I was having my coffee... reducing the tense and early morning stress!
"Nina, the best man is the one that can help you to reach your outmost and as well as finding the worst side of you,..."
I finished my coffee, listened to the voicemail I've just got... and it was him over the phone, left some words on my mobile on Tuesday and Thursday which I have just received this morning...
tears dropped......
please someone sing a lullaby for me... take me to the place where I can rest my soul....
"Nina, the best man is the one that can help you to reach your outmost and as well as finding the worst side of you,..."
I finished my coffee, listened to the voicemail I've just got... and it was him over the phone, left some words on my mobile on Tuesday and Thursday which I have just received this morning...
tears dropped......
please someone sing a lullaby for me... take me to the place where I can rest my soul....
Thursday, 14 February 2008
What Drifting In My Soul...
...was so so unbelievable day! crazy...so many things in my plates!!!
didn't feel that today is what so called Vday! well apart from there's these flowers in my desk, every sec felt like another day.
this morning I actually remembered one of my period of time when I had relationship with this guy... years ago... after we broke up and experience another relationship with other people, I realised how sincere he was... not demanding, it was just...so pure u know... everything felt so right, calm, secure, peaceful, comfortable and settle... I was quit because some principal things, most of it because I was too ambitious and demanding.
I learn from him a lot... a lot!
and i know it's totally uneasy to love someone sincerely ... so hard and it's hurt at the same time and require a lot of effort.
When the time I was trying to do like what he did to me in a way of loving someone... it was a brutal fighting... when you give your self to the people you love with all your heart but you end up being betrayed with the one you love... it was a chaos feeling... so bloody hurt and unbearable...
when people take this Vday to express their love... well I would like to take this chance to say thank you so much for him who taught me how to love sincerely... gave me comfort in my colourful life and calm me down when my emotional peaked up...
it was on 1999 when I met him almost decade ago...
"you give me something"...
no, I don't wanna go down to that road again, don't get me wrong... life it's about moving forward, rite?
in the end of the day all we needed is someone who could calm us down, give us security and peace with its simplicity instead of roller coaster ride, thousands of roses, expensive holiday, gentle sweet words, thousand promises.........
....sigh
didn't feel that today is what so called Vday! well apart from there's these flowers in my desk, every sec felt like another day.
this morning I actually remembered one of my period of time when I had relationship with this guy... years ago... after we broke up and experience another relationship with other people, I realised how sincere he was... not demanding, it was just...so pure u know... everything felt so right, calm, secure, peaceful, comfortable and settle... I was quit because some principal things, most of it because I was too ambitious and demanding.
I learn from him a lot... a lot!
and i know it's totally uneasy to love someone sincerely ... so hard and it's hurt at the same time and require a lot of effort.
When the time I was trying to do like what he did to me in a way of loving someone... it was a brutal fighting... when you give your self to the people you love with all your heart but you end up being betrayed with the one you love... it was a chaos feeling... so bloody hurt and unbearable...
when people take this Vday to express their love... well I would like to take this chance to say thank you so much for him who taught me how to love sincerely... gave me comfort in my colourful life and calm me down when my emotional peaked up...
it was on 1999 when I met him almost decade ago...
"you give me something"...
no, I don't wanna go down to that road again, don't get me wrong... life it's about moving forward, rite?
in the end of the day all we needed is someone who could calm us down, give us security and peace with its simplicity instead of roller coaster ride, thousands of roses, expensive holiday, gentle sweet words, thousand promises.........
....sigh
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Life Substance
am meditating at this moment... purifying my soul. 've been so upset lately and let my self driven by my emotion with all its sparks, so exhausting indeed.
after all the tears, screams, shouts, roars,squawks, twists, punches, hysterical, broken-hearted, betrayal, a thought of revenge, denial, foul words, hatred, heart-bleed,............ and the list goes on. I come to an end that the heart of life is good.
I have chosen to be silence for a while, to pull my self together instead of spread out my anger that has no end nor edge. It just keeps circling and linger... left nothing but insanity.
I believe that by the end of the day, the truth will reveal and the fictitious will perish. There will be a day for us to yield the seeds we planted...
Amidst the hard rain and thunders, I'm content for now... Alhamdulillah
after all the tears, screams, shouts, roars,squawks, twists, punches, hysterical, broken-hearted, betrayal, a thought of revenge, denial, foul words, hatred, heart-bleed,............ and the list goes on. I come to an end that the heart of life is good.
I have chosen to be silence for a while, to pull my self together instead of spread out my anger that has no end nor edge. It just keeps circling and linger... left nothing but insanity.
I believe that by the end of the day, the truth will reveal and the fictitious will perish. There will be a day for us to yield the seeds we planted...
Amidst the hard rain and thunders, I'm content for now... Alhamdulillah
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
A Thought of Love
You know what, I'm actually thinking about Vday! hahahaha... after I wrote my previous post, I then started thinking what did I do last year on Vday and years before ? can't barely remember to be honest..*sigh* definitely not special then hahaha!
But, in the name of LOOOOOVEEEE.... I let myself to surf anything that is related to love and me =)
*My Love Horoscope*
A torrid and exciting love affair could also spark off on 19 March and if this happens, then this relationship is bound to reach a crescendo by 28 August this year. At this point, you will either decide to take your love story to the next stage or part ways forever. The Scorpio persons having a steady love life will experience both love and passion in their relationship this year.
You will begin to like the idea of having family and children. So take advantage of your desires to tie the knot and openly give of yourself to others. Home and hearth is very crucial to the married Scorpio and you work calmly to have inner peace and create family security.
*My Favourite Movie Love Quote*
From =Harry Met Sally=
I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
*My Favourite Love Songs*
That's All by Rod Stewart or Michael Buble
,,,,
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
....
*My Favourite Romantic Movie*
The classic Walt Disney "Beauty and The Beast" =)
My fav quote from this movie is:
Beast: I want to do something for her - but what?
Cogsworth: Oh there's the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.
yup... PROMISES YOU DON'T INTEND TO KEEP hahahaha sounds very familiar to me...
*Most Romantic Gift*
The Taj Mahal, India!!!
I think this is the best gift that a man could and should give to the woman he loves... a beautiful and graceful mosque!
*Most Romantic Book*
Al Quran... [The Koran]
Needless to say this is definitely the greatest form of love... between Allah SWT and Prophet Muhammad SAW, between ALLAH SWT and humankind in a whole, between humankind toward other human and also between human and its surrounded. Subhanallah! Maha Suci Allah dengan Segala Firman-Nya!
*My Favourite Love Poem*
Aku Ingin by Sapardi Djoko Damono
Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu
Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada
But, in the name of LOOOOOVEEEE.... I let myself to surf anything that is related to love and me =)
*My Love Horoscope*
A torrid and exciting love affair could also spark off on 19 March and if this happens, then this relationship is bound to reach a crescendo by 28 August this year. At this point, you will either decide to take your love story to the next stage or part ways forever. The Scorpio persons having a steady love life will experience both love and passion in their relationship this year.
You will begin to like the idea of having family and children. So take advantage of your desires to tie the knot and openly give of yourself to others. Home and hearth is very crucial to the married Scorpio and you work calmly to have inner peace and create family security.
*My Favourite Movie Love Quote*
From =Harry Met Sally=
I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
*My Favourite Love Songs*
That's All by Rod Stewart or Michael Buble
,,,,
There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.
....
*My Favourite Romantic Movie*
The classic Walt Disney "Beauty and The Beast" =)
My fav quote from this movie is:
Beast: I want to do something for her - but what?
Cogsworth: Oh there's the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.
yup... PROMISES YOU DON'T INTEND TO KEEP hahahaha sounds very familiar to me...
*Most Romantic Gift*
The Taj Mahal, India!!!
I think this is the best gift that a man could and should give to the woman he loves... a beautiful and graceful mosque!
*Most Romantic Book*
Al Quran... [The Koran]
Needless to say this is definitely the greatest form of love... between Allah SWT and Prophet Muhammad SAW, between ALLAH SWT and humankind in a whole, between humankind toward other human and also between human and its surrounded. Subhanallah! Maha Suci Allah dengan Segala Firman-Nya!
*My Favourite Love Poem*
Aku Ingin by Sapardi Djoko Damono
Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu
Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada
My February
What's on this month of loveeeeee ?
nah definitely not the month of love for me, while people make a big deal out of Valentine, I don't really get bother about it...
what I remember 'bout Feb esp this year, is the fact that I've been in this company for A YEAR... yay!!! it's actually the first time for my professional career history wkwkwkwkw.... not too bad eh? although I'm planing to quit several times, yet I'm holding on... yup that's me love to risk myself and hang on onto something that is torturing hahahaha... seriously! don't ask me why...
maybe because I'm a Scorpion... gift by this so damn loyal attitude! bastard! [sorry] =) good for the company and other including people who take advantage of it but different case for me... gah poor me!
and... oya, it was a year ago when I firstly met McDreamy hahahaha... how time flies,eh?
=) so glad that there is still something that could bring a smile into my heart and face...
Got some Valentine invitations from some hotels actually,... but it's on Thursday.. and deadline...and Gosh have an interview to do during the afternoon too... gonna be hectic! I need wines though hahahahaha... McDreamy always say wine will make ur day ten times better =D thinking to go to Val dinner for its free flow wines hahahahaha murahan banget!!!
well we'll see maybe gonna celebrate the Vday with McDreamy... commemorate one year of our first meeting hahahahaha... whateva! of course in my dream...d'oh! otherwise he's gonna be McReal!!!!!!
nah definitely not the month of love for me, while people make a big deal out of Valentine, I don't really get bother about it...
what I remember 'bout Feb esp this year, is the fact that I've been in this company for A YEAR... yay!!! it's actually the first time for my professional career history wkwkwkwkw.... not too bad eh? although I'm planing to quit several times, yet I'm holding on... yup that's me love to risk myself and hang on onto something that is torturing hahahaha... seriously! don't ask me why...
maybe because I'm a Scorpion... gift by this so damn loyal attitude! bastard! [sorry] =) good for the company and other including people who take advantage of it but different case for me... gah poor me!
and... oya, it was a year ago when I firstly met McDreamy hahahaha... how time flies,eh?
=) so glad that there is still something that could bring a smile into my heart and face...
Got some Valentine invitations from some hotels actually,... but it's on Thursday.. and deadline...and Gosh have an interview to do during the afternoon too... gonna be hectic! I need wines though hahahahaha... McDreamy always say wine will make ur day ten times better =D thinking to go to Val dinner for its free flow wines hahahahaha murahan banget!!!
well we'll see maybe gonna celebrate the Vday with McDreamy... commemorate one year of our first meeting hahahahaha... whateva! of course in my dream...d'oh! otherwise he's gonna be McReal!!!!!!
lets just walk on...
And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is
I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...
(written by U2)
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom
Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the hurt is
I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on
Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...
(written by U2)
Monday, 11 February 2008
macem ape...
susahnye nyari duit tu...
[gosh] have u ever felt so unmotivated on doing something ? ur job for instance ?
if you haven't been on that shoes, I'll tell you... it feels like SH** seriously...
all u get by the end of the day is merely this fatigue and left a hollow sphere within your soul
my dad told me this morning when he took me to the airport, to quit my job 'coz he could see that I'm no longer enjoying my activities... my job as a writer in this so and so company, which is TRUE.
telling the truth I'm just waiting a "right" momentum to tender my resignation letter... not really care what am I going to do next hehehe, don't really get bother about it. I don't mind to just sit and talk with my mom back home in Yogyakarta, yeah seriously I think I can live with that after years of whirl-winding emotions. I deserve a break... the fine one please.
I read Chinese prophecy this afternoon, it is based on our Shio or the year we were born, mine is Monkey. It says that this year I have to be careful and be more aware of my surrounded, there are many back stabber who are love to tackle me and to see me suffer. I was wondering this prophecy must be one year late! This last two years I've been very familiar with these back stabber people, they are around me... Always say something sweet, innocent, and such, yet they do things that hurt me a lot behind my back and smile so politely and nicely in front of me like I know nothing about what they've been doing. So shameful and disrespect indeed... all I could say is: What goes around comes around. I have always believed that we ALWAYS i mean always have to pay for hat we do, whether it is good or bad. Yes, I do believe in Karma.
Respect is not something that you gain... but it is something that you earn.
well, I may once in my life have done something dreadful toward others, hence people who I consider as my inner circle keep hurting me on and on again, I don't know which are more stupid in this case, me or them... me as I still have more and more space to forgive them and giving them chances by chances to improve or them who keep falling in the same whole over and over again. what a life.
So the bottom line is: I'm fed up with my job, so sick with these back stabbers and yet life has to move on.
guess it'll be great to have someone, yes i only need ONE person who is sincere and pure...
I hope that Allah still keep that person save for me... AMIEN.
[gosh] have u ever felt so unmotivated on doing something ? ur job for instance ?
if you haven't been on that shoes, I'll tell you... it feels like SH** seriously...
all u get by the end of the day is merely this fatigue and left a hollow sphere within your soul
my dad told me this morning when he took me to the airport, to quit my job 'coz he could see that I'm no longer enjoying my activities... my job as a writer in this so and so company, which is TRUE.
telling the truth I'm just waiting a "right" momentum to tender my resignation letter... not really care what am I going to do next hehehe, don't really get bother about it. I don't mind to just sit and talk with my mom back home in Yogyakarta, yeah seriously I think I can live with that after years of whirl-winding emotions. I deserve a break... the fine one please.
I read Chinese prophecy this afternoon, it is based on our Shio or the year we were born, mine is Monkey. It says that this year I have to be careful and be more aware of my surrounded, there are many back stabber who are love to tackle me and to see me suffer. I was wondering this prophecy must be one year late! This last two years I've been very familiar with these back stabber people, they are around me... Always say something sweet, innocent, and such, yet they do things that hurt me a lot behind my back and smile so politely and nicely in front of me like I know nothing about what they've been doing. So shameful and disrespect indeed... all I could say is: What goes around comes around. I have always believed that we ALWAYS i mean always have to pay for hat we do, whether it is good or bad. Yes, I do believe in Karma.
Respect is not something that you gain... but it is something that you earn.
well, I may once in my life have done something dreadful toward others, hence people who I consider as my inner circle keep hurting me on and on again, I don't know which are more stupid in this case, me or them... me as I still have more and more space to forgive them and giving them chances by chances to improve or them who keep falling in the same whole over and over again. what a life.
So the bottom line is: I'm fed up with my job, so sick with these back stabbers and yet life has to move on.
guess it'll be great to have someone, yes i only need ONE person who is sincere and pure...
I hope that Allah still keep that person save for me... AMIEN.
The World Out There
Thursday, Feb 7 08
I’m in the airport lounge at this moment, waiting for my plane… yup another journey to find some answers in my life. Before I hit by this boredom, I was reading Time special edition about 2007 recap. I was reading through each page, gasping… wow.. there were billions things happened out there while I'm feeding my stupid ego. Even when I’m writing this crap now, I believe that some people in Africa dying and fight for their life or in other side of the world people got killed because of the crime or even human stupidity. Maybe, some leaders are now battling to set some strategies for the world’s peace or even to conquer Iran with its nuclear or maybe Al Gore is now in the Arctic trying to survive a polar bear life from the global warming… and… thousands new life born!
You know what I mean? and I’m here doing nothing, wasting my time, complaining why these and those… instead being a part of this human’s history! I’m ashamed with myself you know.. I can’t even figure it out what am I going to do next week… for my life for my future after I got hit by some tragedies… so ironic. I should’ve done better than this… and I know I can do better than this. No, I don’t wanna be a hero or whatsoever, I just want to live my live to the fullest. I’ve done enough stupidity with my life… and guess it’s about the time to do something good, to pursue things that are already written for me and been waiting to be fulfilled.
I want to be a part of the history… so then one day I can tell my children and grand children that my life is not a waste!
I’m in the airport lounge at this moment, waiting for my plane… yup another journey to find some answers in my life. Before I hit by this boredom, I was reading Time special edition about 2007 recap. I was reading through each page, gasping… wow.. there were billions things happened out there while I'm feeding my stupid ego. Even when I’m writing this crap now, I believe that some people in Africa dying and fight for their life or in other side of the world people got killed because of the crime or even human stupidity. Maybe, some leaders are now battling to set some strategies for the world’s peace or even to conquer Iran with its nuclear or maybe Al Gore is now in the Arctic trying to survive a polar bear life from the global warming… and… thousands new life born!
You know what I mean? and I’m here doing nothing, wasting my time, complaining why these and those… instead being a part of this human’s history! I’m ashamed with myself you know.. I can’t even figure it out what am I going to do next week… for my life for my future after I got hit by some tragedies… so ironic. I should’ve done better than this… and I know I can do better than this. No, I don’t wanna be a hero or whatsoever, I just want to live my live to the fullest. I’ve done enough stupidity with my life… and guess it’s about the time to do something good, to pursue things that are already written for me and been waiting to be fulfilled.
I want to be a part of the history… so then one day I can tell my children and grand children that my life is not a waste!
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