November, 11

I’m heading to my 27. On Wednesday I’ll be 27. I remembered, once I made a kind of goal or whatever you wanna call, I would be settled when I’m 27. And.. yeah here I am on my 27 and nowhere. I graduated from my master degree about two years ago and I’m stuck as a writer in this publication. Not that I don’t like my job, no no… I love it, this is the thing that I have always wanted to be.. but you know I should’ve been an editor at this moment, well theoretically I am a feature editor in this man’s magz but… well.. it’s not something that I can proud of for some reasons. And I should’ve have had my own book being published!

I should’ve already became a feature or documentary radio producer in the BBC or wherever… yeah should’ve. Again not that I’m being ungrateful… for me it’s kind an indication that I haven’t done my best… though for so many times I feel that I’ve done my best. Yet knowing the result, I definitely far for where I am heading for…

People say that I have to be patience… and this is a phase where I’m in the stage of “growing in pains” I don’t have a clue… Am I having what so called twenty-something crisis ??? Gosh, I thought I was different… a friend of mine told me “celebrate your life, age is just a number! Have a wine it’ll make you better” yeah.. whatever mate! Nice try though.. it’s a matter of a state of mind!!! Hell yeah now I’m trying to make myself feel better.

I just watched movie titled Once, and Irish movie actually which tells about this singer and a songwriter who is struggle to make a music demo… Regardless its brilliant songs, I somehow grasped the core of its story; we have to be committed for whatever we are doing in life and be dedicated.

Recently I interviewed some artists (painters) in Yogyakarta. They are all the raising stars at this moment. Young, talented and again have a strong commitment. After I talked with them I can’t hide my admiration of them. Their stories were lulled me somehow… All I know that there’s no shortcut to succeed!

I consider myself as an artist as well. Don’t laugh! A writer create something beautiful through his/her story, their words… words that can move people, can lull people, can take them to other place… you know what I mean, eh ? It’s a work of creativity, like an artist really.

Anyway, the point is; I have to work harder. I have to be committed for what I am doing… I don’t want to be a lame writer for sure… I don’t want to be ordinary…
And indeed I want to accomplish my mission while I’m still having time to experience what life has to offer.