my contrast life...

I went to my skin doctor this afternoon, to torture my face (that's what I usually called for the activity named; FACIAL!!) wasn't that bad... if u know what I mean...'cos somehow during the facial u suddenly become crybaby hehehe seriously whether u like it ornot. Then, I poped in to Kem Chick it's a supermarket nestled in Kemang.. 
they sell the finest products of food hmm the soften way to say expensive.. well, knowing the target market are expats so, what do u expect ? well, me definitely not one of them =) I don't earn dollar as well but hey... 
I love good food 'n I know fine food... for once in a while I deserve to have some, aite? Anyway, after I went round to find some ingredients to make sandwich [salmon,turkey,
mozarella spread,veggies], spinach quiche, sunrise banana, hazelnut coffee [love it], I went
out with a big grin in my face...nice foooood so excited 'n happy =) when I got my car I suddenly wanted
to listen jazz tunes, dunno why... somehow I just remembered the old days and u know 
some times there are some things in ur previous life that u want to maintain... and definitely I
have some that I desperately want to retain into my today life, for instance I really want to have the "feel" of
my room in Roker 73 back, was so nice...I always felt inspired.. with that particular smell, lighting.. even the bed
and the duvet.. were so comfy! Every morning I started with BBC radio then I read some news in the internet... 
with hot tea and toast 'n choc nutella spread... with the window on my top, I could enjoyed the view of the sky and fell the breeze... damn! was sooo beautiful!!! then went to the kitchen where all my bestfriends gathered...
went to town to meet my boyfriend for lunch.. then bookstore.. or library... went home and started cooking for
dinner, had dinner with all my flatmates.. always the highlight for the day... soooooooo damn fine u know...
and..that what I was thinking after I shop at Kem Chick [i bought stuff tht I usually bought back then] .
When I drove home, just after I went out from the store
I saw some unfortunate children on the streetside... u know they beg for some change...
n one of this boy came after my window, knocked it with his hand's open up... "Shit, this is Jakarta..."
u know, when u dream about a good life then within a second u open ur eyes and manage to see ur surrounding,
ur dream will instanly vanish, 'cos u then kick by the reality.. that there's no such a good life in this city !!! children are spending their times on the street being beggars... n i know that some of them are being trafficked...
there are mafia' chain behind them that using them... n it's just soooo terrible... horrifying u know...
n how will u digest ur £20 food when u know all of those shits ???? I dropped my pasta [I ate it when the red light
was on], gave away my Swiss wafers to the kids plus some money... my pasta wasn't feel tasty anymore. My jazz screaming out my ears.... the weather burned my skin! 
Is this what am I going to experience for the rest of my life if I live in this chaotic city ? will I become wiser or
sceptical, instead ? How long will I stand this kind of life ? 
Am listening to Vernon Kay now... with the rosey smell in my room yet I don't feel okay, I'm questioning my self
"how long will I stay here..."